I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
