Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
