I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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