If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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