Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
