margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
