Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
