i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
