He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The ass gains better be worth it
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