Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
