I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize