Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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