I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize