I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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