Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
