im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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