the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
