4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
