I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
