Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
