We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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