ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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