craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
