shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When did angry sex become our thing?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
