your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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