singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
