we're blogging at a bar
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
