Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
