you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
