C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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