Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
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It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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