Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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