I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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