matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
