For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
