i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
