i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
