just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
