how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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