I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
