i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
