you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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