I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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