so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
