Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
