Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
