I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
