My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
