I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
