Well apparently he's into motor boating.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
