Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
