I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
