I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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