He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
