dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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