i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
