Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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